Join the Revolution

Help us bring unnecessary complexity to life's simplest items. We're looking for visionaries who aren't afraid to ask, "What if this rubber band needs therapy?"

All positions include complimentary subscription to our services (because we can't afford proper benefits)

Current Openings

Research & Development

Senior Position

Senior Vice President of Sock Loss Prevention

Lead our groundbreaking research into the quantum mechanics of sock disappearance. Must have extensive experience in dryer dynamics and portal theory.

Requirements:
  • PhD in Theoretical Sock Dynamics or related field
  • Minimum 10 years experience losing socks
  • Strong background in quantum entanglement
  • Must have personally lost at least 500 right socks
Remote (because we can't afford an office)
AI Division

Chief Rubber Band Tension Officer

Oversee our proprietary rubber band aging process. Work closely with our oak barrel sommeliers to achieve perfect elasticity profiles.

Requirements:
  • Master's in Elastic Studies
  • Advanced certification in Tension Analytics
  • Must be able to identify rubber band vintage by smell
  • Experience with classical music curation for rubber band meditation
Our premium oak barrel facility (your garage)

Operations

Executive Role

Director of Artisanal Stamp Moistening

Lead our stamp adhesive analysis team. Develop cutting-edge licking techniques and oversee our adhesive taste profile development.

Requirements:
  • Certified Adhesive Sommelier
  • Refined palate for vintage glue varieties
  • Experience with stamp humidity chamber operations
  • Must not be allergic to envelope glue
Our state-of-the-art licking laboratory
Management

Senior Aglet Engineering Manager

Oversee the development of aerospace-grade aglets. Collaborate with NASA on breakthrough shoelace technology.

Requirements:
  • Advanced degree in Aglet Physics
  • NASA wind tunnel certification
  • Experience with zero-gravity shoelace testing
  • Must have own collection of rare aglets
The International Space Station (pending funding)

Emergency Response Division

Crisis Management

Emergency Rubber Band Snap Response Team Leader

Lead our elite team of emergency rubber band replacement specialists. Must be able to handle high-tension situations.

Requirements:
  • 5+ years rubber band crisis experience
  • Certified in Band Snap Trauma counseling
  • Must be able to deploy within 30 seconds of a snap
  • Excellent rubber band first aid skills
On-call, must live within 5 minutes of a rubber band
Urgent Care

Stamp Crisis Hotline Operator

Provide emergency support for customers experiencing urgent stamp-related situations. Must remain calm during adhesive failures.

Requirements:
  • Experience in stamp crisis management
  • Certification in Emergency Adhesive Psychology
  • Must be available for 3am stamp emergencies
  • Strong background in envelope counseling
Our 24/7 stamp crisis center (your bedroom)

Internship Opportunities

  • Junior Sock Loss Analyst (unpaid, but includes free left socks)
  • Assistant Rubber Band Stretcher (must provide own oak barrel)
  • Apprentice Aglet Polisher (great exposure to aerospace-grade materials)

Why Join AutoBox?

Free Subscriptions

All the left socks and aged rubber bands you can handle.

Cutting-Edge Research

Be part of groundbreaking studies that nobody asked for.

Work-Life Balance

Because we can't afford overtime anyway.